Approximately 12 years ago (2003) I had suicidal thoughts and huge amounts of emotional trauma which made me feel very unstable. I felt suicidal and needed support.
The Samaritans had helped before, however this time my problems seemed even beyond their capabilities. A telephone call would not be enough this time. I felt I needed some kind of intervention.
I tried to think of options. Where could I get support? I realised I needed to go to Accident & Emergency at the local hospital (Addenbrookes in Cambridge). This was an emergency because I was in a life threatening situation. In short my life was at risk. I hate wasting the time of medical staff, so I didn’t take this decision lightly. It really felt like my only option at that time.
So I headed down (it was 2am or some time like that). When I got there the nurse on reception asked what was wrong with me. I said that I was feeling extremely high levels of emotional trauma and distress, and that I felt highly destabilised. I felt suicidal. She said that there was no-one on duty who could help me. I was perplexed, my mind was reeling. I was begging for support. She begrudgingly asked me to sit down and wait. I waited four hours. All the people, even those with minor physical injuries, got seen before me. I was a low priority according to their triage system.
[As I write this I can feel a lot of anger arise. I could have died due to their medical negligence. I should sue the bastards and get compensation. Ignorant scum!]
They eventually managed to get a psychiatrist to come in (they didn’t have any on duty or on call!). He had a small teddy bear shoved in his pocket. I initially assumed he’d therefore be caring and compassionate. What a cognitive error that was! He asked how I was feeling. He kept saying ‘You seem fine to me’. He said this over and over. I said I felt suicidal. He kept saying I seemed fine. He asked me what I wanted him to do. I told him that he was the expert, and that I needed help. He then said that he wasn’t sure how he could help me. Wow!
Eventually I was fobbed off. I received zero support, and indeed felt even more deflated and desperate after the traumatic wait with zero empathy. I started walking back to my car that was in the multi-storey car park on the hospital grounds. It was almost 6am by now, and it was starting to get a bit lighter. I went to try and pay for my ticket in the ticket machine. I was a bit confused. A parking attendant, a guy in his late fifties or early sixties or so, asked if I was ok. I said that I was feeling mentally unwell. He started talking with me. He gave off such kindness. He just listened to me and gave me time. Amazingly after 30 minutes I was feeling far more stable. His compassion had eased my suffering and my panic. He reinstated my faith in humanity.
So to conclude, a whole hospital of medical staff were not only useless, and medically negligent but also cruel and heartless. All their training meant nothing. Instead a kind stranger with zero training, and a kind heart, who was unpaid to help mental health patients, helped me.
Sometimes I still get angry with the NHS when it comes to their continued medical negligence not only with my mental health but also the medical negligence I have seen with a lot of other friend’s mental health.
Have you had similar experiences? Please leave comments below.
Update: Check out a positive experience of A&E and mental health in 2015 (12 years later).
Copyright MEN HEAL 2015.
If you are ever feeling distressed or suicidal try finding a helpline number here: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html
Although I said in this article that I didn’t feel The Samaritans (UK suicide helpline) couldn’t help me that time, every other time they have really helped me. So please try calling a helpline or visit http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
So glad to hear this parking attendant had the right ticket! Sounds like the hospital staff need retraining…or firing and replaced! Abysmal attitude of there’s!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I heard a lady speaking yesterday who trains NHS staff about mental health. Even the receptionists and frontline staff get training, which makes them more understanding.
LikeLike
Interesting and hopefully more positive for the future mental health services we get.
LikeLiked by 1 person